everything is so chill right now
i've made a shitload of new friends now that i'm not putting all of my energy
into a worthless friendship.
kayla and i aren't on speaking terms. she decided to befriend nikki again
that's cool and all, but don't change yourself just because your "BEST FRIEND" is a model.
fuck thaaaaaaaat.

i haven't hung out with like any of my old friends except gavin so far this summer
it kind of sucks. i miss them all.
my birthday is in a week. and i'm gettin fuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked up. hahahahaha

i got laid too. haha it sucked. less than 5 minutes. ew

life's kind of like stuck on fast forward. it sucks
i wish i could rewind a month back, and pause it
at all of the good parts.

i don't think i'm going to have any friends anymore
like my life is seriously shit right now.
it's not JUST because of boys and school and blah blah blah
my mom's been acting really akward since she had a doctor appt.
it's freaking me out and i can't talk to anyone about it because
no one wants to listen. i wish i could regurgitate everything shitty
and flush it down the toilet.

ahhhhhhhh, fuck 'em, right?

so basically everything is shit
carl and i, turned to shit
kayla and gavin, turned to shit
my attitude towards school/work, turning to shit

i feel very little anymore
i've cried since monday and haven't eaten anything
except a granola bar and a piece of pizza since then

it sucks knowing that when someone tells you something,
you know immediately that they are lieing just so you'll shut up
i really thought that carl and i were going to work out
i liked and still like him so much and i really thought he felt
the same towards me, at least he acted like it
and now he basically doesn't want to talk to me anymore
because he is "turning 20 in a couple of months
and i am 16 and he wants to be with someone that is
ready to start their life." so i guess i'm going to stay16 as everyone grows older...?

my mom wants to put my dog to sleep
i'm freaking out
i can't stop crying
i love that dog so much
she's getting more sick everyday
fuck MOTHER FUCCCCCCKERRRRRRR

my car is fixed
i have the boy
i have my job back, which means $$$$$$!!!!

kayla and i are going to the dells and staying in a sweet condo
spring break is not even 3 days away
hanging out with TOMMMMMMMM on sunday! hahaha

AHHHHHH!!! EVERYTHING IS SO GOOD!!!!